Crone? Isn’t that a haggard old lady? Why would you want to identify with something so old and unattractive? I hear this frequently and have to pause before replying. A woman’s life has three chapters – maiden, mother, and crone. A crone, most broadly (no pun intended), is a post-menopausal woman. Many societies deem a non-reproductive woman as superfluous, but that’s just the patriarch talking (and talking, and talking). We have heard and internalized the language and message of the patriarchy for millennia. And, frankly, this shit is getting old.
It’s high time to reflect on and use language in a way that doesn’t unintentionally suppress women of any age, but of crones in particular. I can hear eyeballs rolling from those who warn of yet another shard of political correctness. Suck it up, buttercup. That’s just an easy way of deriding people from fighting to emerge from oppressive, demeaning conditions. English, and most other languages, is sufficiently robust and elastic to stretch in ways that don’t denigrate, humiliate, or obliterate people who are different than those in power.
Consider the trope “men age better than women.” Puh-lesee!! First, it’s not true. And second, who cares?! We all age. Hopefully. Do we age with health, mental vitality, a zest for life, humor? That, to me, is aging better.
Or consider the phrase “age appropriate.” Used exclusively for women, from my unscientific observations, this phrase is a rebuke to keep women from full and free self-expression. Because if some things are age appropriate, then other things are inappropriate. I can think of a lot that’s inappropriate that the dominant masculine culture sems to have little to no problem with – war, violence, climate stress, racism, sexism, economic oppression, greed, corruption. Sorry, not sorry. I’m gonna wear that leopard chiffon dress with my combat boots and march against you and all of that.
Think of the last time you got a “crazy” idea in your head and you told yourself – Oh! I shouldn’t! I couldn’t! I can’t. What would people say? Etc. That idea (unless it’s violent, mean, or illegal) is definitely something to consider. All that other stuff is just them keep you in your place.
I’m loving my crone years! Not at first, because I didn’t have the language or tools to help me navigate and plan them. That’s why I created the Conscious Croning method. I made it for myself to take stock of my life, sort out what was strong, aligned, and purposeful and also identify and toss the narratives that no longer (ok, never) served me. Through that process of creation and renewal, I came to understand the pervasiveness and toxicity of patriarchal language.
I start now by standing on my ground on both the word and the identify of crone! She is older, wiser, experienced, insightful, compassionate, nurturing, joyful – drawing on the past to plant the seeds of the future.
Crone? Hell yes, Sister! Come join me at Wondercrone.com
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