Ever feel like you’re the one sidestepping oncoming pedestrians on the sidewalk or in the public square? Ever pipe up in a conversation and the words seemingly float away without so much as registering with those around you? Ever wonder if all relationships are transactional? You’re hardly alone! As we age, women often experience a stark contrast in societal visibility compared to men of similar age.
A 2023 survey of 2,000 women revealed that by age 51, many believed they had become socially invisible, with only 15% expressing high confidence in any area of their lives. Additionally, 46% felt that their experiences and challenges as older women were not understood or addressed by society.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise. Older women face a troubling intersection of ageism and sexism, leading to widespread feelings of invisibility and unlovability. Women of color face a trifecta of -isms, sexism, ageism, and racism. Being unseen feels like walking through life as a ghost. You exist, but your presence goes unnoticed. This invisibility chips away at your confidence, making you question your worth and relevance. It’s a silent struggle, one that many endure without ever voicing the pain it brings.
Being unheard feels like no matter how loudly or clearly you speak, your words fall on deaf ears. This can lead to a profound sense of frustration and helplessness as if your ability to influence or participate in conversations and decisions has been stripped away. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and sense of identity, making you feel invisible and disconnected from those around you. It’s not just about the absence of sound, but the absence of acknowledgment and respect for your voice.
Feeling unlovable is a deeply painful and isolating experience. Maybe you feel inherently flawed, that something about you is fundamentally unworthy of love and affection. This happens from repeated rejection, criticism, or neglect, leading to a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt. When you feel unlovable, you may withdraw from relationships, fearing further pain. This belief can create a barrier between you and others, preventing you from forming meaningful connections and experiencing the warmth and support that come with being truly loved.
These terrible feelings – unseen, unheard, and unlovable – are crippling limiting beliefs that our social conditioning has steadfastly seeped into messages since we were in the crib. And they are lies!
Many women may, indeed, sink into their later years suffering from these misbegotten storylines. But there are those of us who see these untruths for what they are. We are crones! We are rejecting these social expectations and curating our third chapters built from our experiences, lessons, and wisdom. As we do, we contribute to a cultural shift that values the contributions and experiences of women of all ages. One bold crone at a time.
Come join us at WonderCrone.com. We see you. We hear you. We value and love you for what you are.
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