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Writer's pictureJennifer Butz

Real eyes realize real lies

The worldwide web’s algorithms have cottoned onto the fact that I am an older person. Now, instead of acne creams and fast fashion for the junior size-0 set, my feed is filled with geriatric chair yoga courses, “stylish mobility units”, offers of Botox or microsomethingorother, of life insurance offers and dating sites for the mature (i.e., +40!). That wasn’t a tectonic rumble you just felt. Those were my eyes rolling SO HARD that I flipped over.


What I find both amusing and objectionable is the way that this messaging pushes us seniors backwards towards regaining lost youth while also flagging our impending doom and the planning which that entails. Missing from the algorithm is the part about living! Living now; living here; living in my present.


I realize that the goal of marketing is generally to make us feel less than. That there is something missing which their thing can fill. That if only my eyebrows, my lips or my butt were fuller, my life would be better. That if my partner were hotter, younger, richer, or classier, it would reflect so much better on me!


Truth be told, my eyebrows disappeared with menopause and I have been happily single for many years. I haven’t put my life on hold or shelled out big bucks to ameliorate either of these realities. I’m too busy living my here, my now and my present.


Working through my own Conscious Croning process, I have liberated myself of much of the doubt, the lack, and the not-enoughness that I’ve carried through most of my life. I realize now that I had lived previously looking through the eyes of others – their demands, their expectations, and their fears. What a gift it has been to peel away those layers! There was no truth in those expectations. These perceptions of me were never (at best, rarely) accurate and even then only a partial, compartmentalized version of who I was.


Real eyes realize real lies. We’re not taught to peel away the layers in our society. We’re meant to patch, prop, and camouflage ourselves into a semblance of “best self.” Take it from an old lady. That is bullshit.



Age has given me a fresh perspective. Now I can wrap those earlier me’s in a loving hug and thank them for their lessons, their experience, and their courage which carried us onwards. I forgive them for having believed the lies which caused so much depression, fear, and negativity.

I might wear progressive lenses now, but I see more clearly than ever. This clarity has brought me to a place that no product, course, or procedure ever could – my now. Come join me at www.wondercrone.com and start realizing your truths.

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