Society has given me so many labels that I feel like I’m wearing a Formula One jumpsuit. Instead of sponsors contributing substantial sums, the labels I wear are assigned to me, like: senior, old, outdated, retired, spinster, weird, aged, and more.
Bear with me as I step out of that tatty jumpsuit. Whew! So much better. Here I am. Aging, experienced, global, creative, compassionate, motivated.
Society tries to cover up my personal labels with their own, but theirs won’t stick. Others may think they see those socially-imposed labels, but that has all to do with their failing eyesight, not mine. They might even jeer at my labels. Like I care.
Too many people – especially women – spend their lives wearing the labels that society doles out. These labels serve to shape how we are seen and how we see ourselves. They influence how we move through our lives, who we see as friends, where we live, and how we see “others.” In the US, that otherness has led making us a nation fearful, suspicious, mean, and angry. More labels. Do they fit?
Moving into later years, these labels can have increasingly negative impacts, leading to isolation, poor medical service, dementia, and early morbidity. Quickly, sister, take off those labels!!
Let me invite you to consider a new label—Crone. In traditional societies, women’s lives had three chapters, maiden, mother, and crone. A crone is an elder woman who no longer allows others to define her. She has looked frankly and with self-compassion at her wisdom, experience, and learning. She acknowledges and accepts the way that life is closing some doors and opening others.
When I began my croning journey, I realized that not only was ageism knocking on my door, it was hitting me on my head! I also realized that in spite of 30+ years of international program leadership around the globe, I lacked the tools and language to navigate my aging in strength and power. What I found was either to goddess-y and ethereal, or too psychoanalytical and regressive. I’m a practical sort.
I searched for insights and exercises from a variety of resources. When I finished, I thought that other women might find this approach useful and constructive. Conscious Croning was born. Admittedly it’s early days. The women who have engaged with Conscious Croning find that they are shedding social labels, curating their third chapter, and owning – CELEBRATING – their new label of crone!
Think of it, social demagogues have often assigned labels meant to denigrate people and communities. Impressionists, Blacks, Queers, Gays – each were initially used as slurs until those individuals and groups took up the label as a badge of honor and pride. I say we elder women do this with the term crone.
Ready to join us in our dazzle of crones? Join me at www.wondercrone.com!
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